Beyond Top, Bottom, Versatile: Unpacking the ‘Side‘ Identity
Understanding the Spectrum
When it comes to male-male intimacy, there’s a whole spectrum of preferences that often gets oversimplified into the binary of ‘top’ or ‘bottom’, or the middle ground of ‘versatile’. But, hey, guess what? Sexuality is a lot more complex than that, my dudes. That’s where the term ‘side‘ comes into the picture.
‘Sides’, as coined by American psychotherapist and sexologist Joe Kort, is a label for the folks who aren’t all that psyched about the penetration game. These are the guys who find their bliss in acts like oral, mutual masturbation, and other non-penetrative ways to get down and dirty. They’re all about getting intimate in ways that go beyond the more traditional notions of male-male sex. Sounds like you? Then maybe you’re more of a ‘side’ than a top, bottom, or versatile. And that’s perfectly chill. Life’s all about exploring and finding what turns your crank, right?
But it’s not just about breaking down the act of sex into different components. It’s also about understanding the emotional and psychological aspects that come into play. ‘Sides’ often crave a different kind of closeness and connection that doesn’t rely on penetrative sex. They’ve found their niche and, let me tell ya, they’re loving it.
If the ‘top’, ‘bottom’, or ‘versatile’ labels have left you feeling like a square peg trying to fit into a round hole, then ‘side’ might be your golden ticket. It’s a more nuanced and inclusive term that reflects the diverse spectrum of desires and preferences in the male-male intimacy landscape. So, whether you’re a side, a top, a bottom, or a versatile, just know that you’re valid. Your experiences are valid. And hey, you’re just as much a part of the spicy world of male-male intimacy. Own it!
The Full Menu of Pleasure
Imagine you’re at a buffet, with plates and plates of different dishes stretched out before you. Now, just because you’ve got a smorgasbord of options doesn’t mean you’re obligated to pile your plate with everything, right? That’s pretty much the story with sides. They might not be reaching for the so-called “main course” of penetration, but believe me, they’re not going home hungry. They’re just feasting on the other scrumptious selections on the table.
There’s this whole menu of pleasure, see, and sides know their palate. They’re all in for the soups and salads, the finger foods, and the desserts. I’m talking about stuff like kissing, touching, oral, mutual self-pleasure – the list goes on. They’ve got their favourites and they’re sticking to them. Why? Because they’ve discovered that these are the dishes that really tickle their taste buds, satisfy their cravings, and leave them feeling full and content.
And let’s be real, who said the “main course” is the be-all and end-all of the meal, huh? With the myriad ways of enjoying intimacy, the definition of the “main course” is really up to you. For sides, the acts often relegated to ‘foreplay’ or ‘starters’ are their main events. They’re not in the background or playing second fiddle to the penetrative stuff.
So, yeah, being a side is kind of like being a foodie in the bedroom. You know what you love, you’re open to exploring, and you savour every mouthful of the experience. Whether you’re all about that oral or getting off on mutual masturbation, you’re embracing your desires and taking your pleasure seriously. And that, my friends, is a buffet worth attending.
Dispelling Myths: What Makes Intimacy ‘Real’?
Alright, folks, gather ’round. It’s time we tackled the big, gnarly myth that’s been lurking in the shadows: this notion that ‘real’ intimacy has to involve penetration. That’s a bit of a head-scratcher, right? Especially considering how it’s born from some pretty outdated norms that have zilch to do with what actually revs our engines in the here and now.
Look, what really constitutes ‘real’ intimacy? It’s not something you can define with a single act. In fact, it’s a lot like a cocktail, a mix of elements as unique as the individuals stirring it up. You might prefer yours on the rocks, while others like it neat. It’s not about one ingredient making the drink, but how the combination works for you. That’s what makes your cocktail, or in this case, your intimacy, ‘real’.
And hey, if you’re a side, top, bottom, versatile, or chillin’ somewhere in between, it’s all about what sets your heart aflutter and your body on fire. What makes your breath hitch and your toes curl. It’s about sharing those electric moments with someone in a way that feels authentic to you.
When you think about it, isn’t that the essence of intimacy? It’s about connection, vulnerability, and shared pleasure. So, whether you’re diving deep into a passionate makeout session, exploring each other with your hands, or getting steamy with some mutual self-pleasure, that’s your version of ‘real’ intimacy. And let me tell you, it’s every bit as valid and exciting as any other.
So, let’s kick that tired old myth to the curb, shall we? Here’s to embracing and celebrating all the ways we get our kicks. After all, isn’t the most ‘real’ form of intimacy the one that brings us joy, pleasure, and connection? I’d say that’s a big, resounding ‘heck yes!’.
Side – Finding Your Groove
Alright, let’s chat about that ‘aha’ moment, the one that comes when the ‘side’ concept finally clicks into place. You know, when the clouds part, the lightbulb flicks on, and you suddenly feel like you’ve found your groove. You’re standing there thinking, “Hey, that’s me! That’s who I am!” It’s like finding the last piece of a puzzle you didn’t even know you were missing.
It’s like rocking up to a party where everyone’s dancing to a tune that just doesn’t make your feet move. You’re left wondering why you’re not feeling the beat. Then, boom! The DJ switches tracks, and suddenly, you’re grooving like nobody’s business. That’s what discovering you’re a ‘side’ can feel like. It’s finding your rhythm, your groove, in the great dance of intimacy.
But hang on, this isn’t just a one-man or one-woman show. Understanding the ‘side’ thing isn’t just important for those who identify as such. Nope, it’s a bit of knowledge that can benefit everyone. Why? Because it helps create a more inclusive, accepting, and yes, exciting landscape of intimacy. It’s about acknowledging that being a side is just as valid, just as exhilarating, as being a top, bottom, or versatile.
So, whether you’re a side or not, recognizing the validity of this identity is like turning up the volume on that great track everyone should get a chance to dance to. It broadens the party, brings more folks onto the dance floor, and hey, it makes the whole event a lot more vibrant and fun. Now, who wouldn’t want an invite to that kind of bash?
Wrapping it Up
And just like that, folks, we’ve unravelled the full story. Whether you’re a gay, bisexual, or a man who has a thing for other men, it’s high time we wrap our heads around the whole shebang of preferences out there. From the tops to the bottoms, from the versatiles to the often overlooked sides, there’s a whole kaleidoscope of flavours to explore in this grand intimacy extravaganza.
But remember this, it’s not about trying to squeeze yourself into a label or a box, as though intimacy is some sort of standardised test that you have to pass. No way, Jose! It’s all about basking in pleasure that feels just right for you, as smooth as your favourite tune on a lazy Sunday morning.
So, wherever you find yourself on this spectrum, throw a little party for yourself, my friend. Celebrate it, enjoy it, and be proud of your unique vibe. Whether you’re a top, a bottom, a versatile, or a side, let your flag flutter in the breeze. Heck, let it do more than flutter, let it soar high, higher than the highest kite, because this is you, and you’re absolutely, positively, fantastically amazing just as you are!
